Long ago, when I was a little girl, I often heard elders, especially some women folk saying that they wish to be reborn as a man in their next life or how they delighted to hear an astrologer predict that a deceased family member would be reborn somewhere as a man. And all along I wondered why they weren’t happy with what they were born as until one day I decided to visit the hospital -the Pap smear unit to start the routine tests like all other women. The first test result came out normal but not the second one, of which the nurses scheduled me for the colposcopy test where they would do a close examination of my cervix with a camera machine something .
The much awaited day for the colposcopy came. At one time I thought of giving up and go back home.The thought of lying on the examination bed with your private part on display felt uneasy and scary enough. But what if I died of cervical cancer? Why is this cancer associated only with women? As thousands of thoughts crossed my mind I decided to stay and get the tests done. I even reminded myself of the three unbearable labour pains I had undergone in my life. Hey, really, this is nothing compared to all these,right? The reminder atleast helped though.
Waiting on the lounge outside the examination chamber with all other women felt reassuring. Conversations came out naturally. Everyone talked or asked random questions to eachother, ofcouse always about the women topic or the women’s gynecological related problems.Some had come to get further diagnosis and advice from the doctor on their colposcopy results. Some came out of the room with smiles on their lips while a woman came out and murmured to us few that she would be undergoing a minor surgery. A woman sitting on my left on hearing this sighs woefully ‘Tsk.. Tsk.. us women…and our problems…”
And for a second I was in sync with her thoughts. Only now do I realise why some of our womenfolk wished to be reborn as a man . And do I also wish for the same? Perhaps yes or maybe not. For now all I wish for is that my colposcoy test results come out normal and I continue living in my normal healthy woman’s body. Keeping my fingers crossed..